Confidence

“Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone” – Robert Allen co-author of the one minute millionaire.

What is confidence? It is subjective in that the definition of confidence to me might not be the same to you. Confidence isn’t an object, when someone says they want more confidence we can’t just take it off the shelf and give it to them, it is a state. It’s a way of feeling and behaving, and everyone will have felt it at some time, in some situation or other in their lives. The saying we have lost our confidence is quite correct as it assumes that at some point we did have it, and therefore can get it back again.

How do we increase our confidence? One way is to continually challenge ourselves, the most growth occurs when we dare to step outside our comfort zones. Comfort zones are where we think it’s safest for us to be. They are the people and places we know well, they are the things we do because we have always done them. They are one of the most destructive forces in personal growth. Where would we be now if certain people hadn’t dared move away from their comfort zone? Would we still be in darkness as Thomas Edison might have thought attempting to discover the light bulb after over 1,000 attempts was too daunting?

My daughter went to Thorpe Park recently concerned as she had always avoided the really scary rides through fear. I really encouraged her to just go for it as the buzz she would get from conquering her fears would far outweigh the moments beforehand queuing up frightened. When I saw her later, she looked liked she’d physically grown four inches! And was really animated and excited eager to explain how well she’d done etc. A small part of her had changed that day a new belief put in its place “if I can do that, what else can I do?”

It doesn’t matter how things are in your life right now or how long you have been this way, the good news is it can change and often really quickly!

I know that doing things differently isn’t easy especially if we have been doing certain things the same way for years, but it is a really good place to start to make changes in your life and increase your confidence. I challenge you to do four things differently for the next seven days for example if you always walk the same way to work each day, change it, take a different route (always ensuring it is safe etc) the same applies to driving to work, try altering your journey. If you always dress in the same order every day again completely change things around. This will send a message to your unconscious that you are capable of change. Take up a new hobby; go to a different country on holiday if you go to the same place each year. Do you tend to go to the same restaurants all the time? If so try a new one. Do you order the same food? Again pick something else from the menu.

You will start to find that you are looking for other areas of your life to make positive changes in as well. Change becomes easier with practice and if we can deal with it in a positive way our lives will be much happier.